Watch enough Bake Off shows and your brain wonders why this country doesn’t offer more food options – 25 brands of the same old pasta sauce or canned soup doesn’t cut it for me anymore.  So naturally I decided to make clotted cream, something they’re always dishing out on scones and the like.

Only problem is the traditional method involves time – lots and lots and lots of time.  You are only pouring heavy cream into a container and letting it cook in an slow oven (about 175°), but it’s for 10-12 hours and then you end up with what I call scabbed cream, where the top is golden and there’s lots of liquid underneath to pour out before you can cover and refrigerate for another set of hours.  Don’t want to hear about how it’s fine to eat the crust – I don’t think it’s particularly appealing, but then maybe you ate scabs as a kid.

So I searched and searched for other ways because, let’s face it, traditional means before the age of modern appliances and do we really want to trade our stand mixers for a set of whisks?  Slow cookers, multi cookers, rice cookers – so many ways and yet not what I wanted.  In the end I decided to play around with my microwave since there were plenty of those recipes out there, too!  Eliminate all the nonsense and this is how it goes down:

Pour heavy cream into a microwave safe container (duh).  Traditional recipes say you can’t use ultra-pasturized cream, but that’s BS; traditionally you’d probably also keep a cow in the yard.  I poured a quart into the Pyrex container shown.

Originally I had the top covered with a dishtowel to prevent splatter, but tried it without and found that running a few minutes at a time meant no splatter.  I used 3 minute increments, stirring in between (careful for intense boiling action here).

Since so much depends on quantity of cream, size of container and power of your microwave, I’ll just say to run the above scenario a few times until the cream starts thickening; eventually you should be able to tell when there’s only a slight jiggle and then it’s done.  Remove to cool on the counter (I put a dishtowel on top – cats, you know) and once cool, placed in the refrigerator for a number of hours – shoot for overnight. I put a dishtowel on top and then the Pyrex cover, just to catch any moisture.

What you’ll end up with is a product that looks and spreads exactly like butter but tastes slightly different.  When you make butter you have lots of whey which we’re all told to reserve and save for future baking … har, har.  Here any extra liquid must have been nuked away because it’s completely solid and my next step will be to put into a food storage container.  This is the bee’s knees, folks and I will definitely be making it again since the higher butterfat content is much closer to European butter.

Had I microwaved it slightly less, I would have had a “looser” product, much closer in consistency to clotted cream, but that’s for my next attempt.  This one is very, very good and very, very easy.

I take pride in cooking for less – as long as it’s tasty and nutritious, only a crazy (or deeply insecure) person brags about paying full price for anything!  Here’s a pot of lentil stew just put on to simmer, so there are going to be hours of wonderful smells before it’s ready.  Paid 10¢ for each of the two bags of Jewel clearance lentils, Pita picked up a bunch of beets, so the roots are cooking while the tops got washed, chopped and put into the stew, baby carrots were way overbought, so into the pot before they go bad, some celery stalks left from the 88¢ Jewel sale, a jar of sliced Kalamata olives and a Tuscany/Mediterranean spice blend. FirstBorn had a sandwich where they used outer layers of onion too tough to eat – into the pot!  Mostly clearance deals so doubt I’ll break $5 for the entire pot, including this 75% off Farmers Cheese I’ll dice and top on each serving. Several meals here, easy.

This Sunday (1/10) we get one SmartSource insert.  Don’t whine, just because last week spoiled you!  Not all papers will carry the same coupons or have the same values.

SmartSource

ACT Kids Product (ETS) $1/1 (2/6)
ACT Product (ETS) $1/1 (2/6)
Airborne Product $1/1 (2/13)
Aquaphor Body Product 1.75oz+ or Aquaphor Baby Product (ETS) $3/1 (1/23)
Aquaphor Lip Product or Aquaphor Body Product 3oz or less (ETS) $1/1 (1/23)
Aquaphor Ointment Body Spray Product (exc. other Aquaphor Products and ETS) $3/1 (1/23)
Aspercreme Product (ETS) $2/1 (1/23)
Aspercreme Product (ETS) $5/2 (1/23)
Belvita Biscuit Boxes 8.8oz+ $1/2
BIC Soleil, BIC Flex or BIC Comfort 3 Hybrid Disposable Razor Pack (ETS) $4/1 (1/16)
BIC Stationery Products $2/2 (1/30)
Breathe Right Products $4/2 (3/10)
Breathe Right Product $1.75/1 (3/10)
Capzasin Product (ETS) $2/1 (1/23)
Cetaphil Deep Hydration, Sheet Hydration or Soothing Gel Cream Product (exc. Soothing Gel Cream 3oz) $4/1 (2/6)
Cetaphil Product (exc. 4oz or less Daily Facial Cleanser, Gentle Skin Cleanser, Moisturizing Lotion or Moisturizing Cream and Single Bars) $2/1 (2/6)
Cetaphil Products (exc. 4oz or less Daily Facial Cleanser, Gentle Skin Cleanser, Moisturizing Lotion, Moisturizing Cream, Single Bars and Cetaphil Baby) (DND) $6/2 (1/31)
Cortizone-10 Product (ETS) $1.25/1 (2/6)
Digestive Advantage Product $1/1 (2/13)
Dulcolax Product (exc. 10ct or less Stimulant and Stool Softener) $3/1 (2/6)
Gold Bond Medicated Powder, Foot Care or First Aid Product (ETS) $1/1 (2/6)
Good Health Items 4.5oz+ (DND) $1/2 (3/31)
Hydroxycut Products $17.88+ (exc. Hydroxycut Drops, Bars and Shakes) $5/1 (5/1)
Icy Hot Product (ETS) $5/2 (1/23)
Icy Hot Product (ETS) $2/1 (1/23)
MegaRed Product $5/1 (1/23)
Move Free Product $5/1 (1/23)
Mueller’s Pasta .55/2 (2/24)
Mueller’s Pasta .55/2 (2/24)
Nabisco Cookie or Cracker Products 3.5oz+ $1/3 (2/20)
Neuriva Product $5/1 (2/13)
Nivea Body Wash Product or Nivea Men Body Wash Product (ETS) $1/1 (2/6)
Nivea Body Wash Products or Nivea Men Body Wash Products (ETS) $3/2 (2/6)
Oui by Yoplait French-Style Yogurt Jars (exc. Oui by Yoplait Oatmeal & Yogurt) $1/4 (3/6)
PediaSure Packs 6ct+ or PediaSure Shake Mix $7/2 (2/6)
PediaSure Pack 6ct+ or PediaSure Shake Mix $3/1 (2/6)
Pictsweet Farms Frozen Vegetables Package $1/1 (2/28)
Quaker Old Fashioned, Quick or Instant Oats or Quaker Oatmeal Square Cereals Packages (exc. Cups) $1/2 (2/21)
Rolaids Bottle or Softchews 28ct (ETS) $2/1 (2/6)
Russell Stover Sugar Free Candies 2.4oz+(DND) $1/2 (2/14)
Russell Stover Sugar Free Candies 9oz+ $2/1 (2/14)
Sargento Balanced Breaks Snacks $1/1 (3/3)
Sargento String, Stick or Snack Bites Cheese Snacks $1/1 (3/3)
Scotties Facial Tissue Single Boxes .75/2 (2/6)
Selsun Blue Product (ETS) $1.50/1 (4/24)
Unisom Product (ETS) $2/1 (1/23)
VitaFusion Apple Cider Vinegar Gummy Vitamins $1/1 (2/7)
VitaFusion or L’il Critters Gummy Vitamins .50/1 (2/7)
Yoplait Yogurt inc. Original, Light, Whips!, Lactose Free, FruitSide, Greek, YQ by Yoplait or Just 3 by Yoplait Cups $1/10 (3/6)
Yoplait Yogurt Multipack inc. Fridge Pack 8pk, Beverage, Go-Gurt, Go-Gurt Dunkers, Kids Cup Yogurt 8ct, Trix Yogurt 8ct or Oui by Yoplait 2ct or 4ct $1.50/2 (3/6)