All the news that fits…

By now you are all probably aware of that big fiasco experienced by ConAgra when they set up a dinner hosted by a celebrity chef and a food industry analyst and invited food bloggers to attend, offering extra tickets for giveaway purposes.  The attendees were promised a delicious four-course meal, and Mr. Duran’s “one-of-a-kind sangria.”  A surprise was also promised…read the following article from the New York Times.

Bloggers Don’t Follow the Script, to ConAgra’s Chagrin

George Duran

By ANDREW ADAM NEWMAN
Published: September 6, 2011

In August, food bloggers and mom bloggers in New York were invited to dine at an underground restaurant in a West Village brownstone run, apparently, by George Duran, the chef who hosts the “Ultimate Cake Off” on TLC.

Sotto Terra, the invitation said, was “an intimate Italian restaurant” where attendees would enjoy a “delicious four-course meal,” Mr. Duran’s “one-of-a-kind sangria,” and learn about food trends from a food industry analyst, Phil Lempert. The invitation continued that upon confirming — for one of five evenings beginning Aug. 23 — bloggers would receive an extra pair of tickets as a prize for readers and that the dinner would include “an unexpected surprise.”

The surprise: rather than being prepared by the chef, the lasagna they were served was Three Meat and Four Cheese Lasagna by Marie Callender’s, a frozen line from ConAgra Foods. Hidden cameras at the dinners, which were orchestrated by the Ketchum public relations unit of the Omnicom Group, captured reactions to the lasagna and to the dessert, Razzleberry Pie, also from Marie Callender’s.

“Our intention was to really have a special evening in a special location with Chef George Duran,” said Stephanie Moritz, senior director of public relations and social media at ConAgra.

“The twist at the end was not dissimilar with what brands like Pizza Hut and Domino’s have done in the recent past with success,” she said, referring to hidden-camera advertising campaigns. ConAgra expected to use the footage for promotional videos on YouTube and its Web site, and for bloggers to generate buzz when they wrote about being pleasantly surprised.

But it was the marketers, not the diners, who were in for the biggest surprise.

The hidden camera is a staple in commercials, from Folger’s ads in the 1970s and 1980s where diners in upscale restaurants unknowingly enjoyed instant coffee instead of the house brew, to more recent Pizza Hut ads, where diners, again in upscale restaurants, unknowingly enjoyed pasta from Pizza Hut.

But while consumers tend to laugh along with the ruse, ConAgra was about to learn that bloggers, who often see themselves as truth-seeking journalists, find the switcheroo less amusing, especially when it entails them misleading their readers beforehand.

“Our entire meal was a SHAM!” wrote Suzanne Chan, founder of Mom Confessionals, in a blog post after the event. “We were unwilling participants in a bait-and-switch for Marie Callender’s new frozen three cheese lasagna and there were cameras watching our reactions.”

On FoodMayhem.com, a blog by Lon Binder and Jessica Lee Binder, Mr. Binder wrote that during a discussion led by Mr. Lempert before the meal, Mr. Binder spoke against artificial ingredients while Ms. Binder mentioned being allergic to food coloring. When the lasagna arrived, Ms. Binder was served a zucchini dish, while Mr. Binder was served lasagna.

“We discussed with the group the sad state of chemical-filled foods,” wrote Mr. Binder. “And yet, you still fed me the exact thing I said I did not want to eat.” (Among the ingredients in the lasagna: sodium nitrate, BHA, BHT, disodium inosinate and disodium guanylate.)

On the evening she attended, Cindy Zhou wrote on her blog, Chubby Chinese Girl, that during the pre-meal discussion, she “pointed out that the reason I ate organic, fresh and good food was because my calories are very precious to me, so I want to use them wisely.”

She continued, “Yet they were serving us a frozen meal, loaded with sodium.” (An 8-ounce serving of the lasagna contains 860 milligrams of sodium, 36 percent of the recommended daily allowance.)

“I’m NOT their target consumer and they were totally off by thinking I would buy or promote their highly processed frozen foods after tricking me to taste it,” Ms. Zhou wrote.

As negative comments on blogs, Twitter and Facebook grew, ConAgra canceled the fifth evening and vowed not to use the hidden-camera footage for promotional purposes.

“Once we sensed it was not meeting attendees’ expectations, that’s where we stopped, we listened and we adjusted,” said Ms. Moritz, of ConAgra.

“It was never our intention to put any bloggers or their guests in an uncomfortable position and for that we are sorry,” she said, adding that the brand subsequently offered to reimburse attendees for such expenses as cab fare and baby-sitting.

Still, “most attendees had a fun evening” and in a survey, 62.5 percent of participants indicated having a favorable impression of Marie Callender’s, Ms. Moritz said.

Peter Shankman, author of “Can We Do That?! Outrageous PR Stunts That Work — And Why Your Company Needs Them,” said Ketchum should have safeguarded ConAgra.

“You pay a PR agency not only to get you press but also for counsel,” Mr. Shankman said. “Someone at Ketchum should have said, ‘I know this sounds fun, but we’re duping bloggers and they might get angry so we might want to rethink this.’ ”

There were “a high percentage of people who actually appreciated the event,” said Jackie Burton, director of corporate communications at Ketchum. “But we also understand that there were people who were disappointed and we’re sorry — we apologize that they felt that way.”

The promotion was “unfortunate” and “struck me as being not quite where they should be in terms of honesty,” said Deborah A. Silverman, who heads the Board of Ethics and Professional Standards at the Public Relations Society of America.

In an e-mail message, Ms. Silverman added, “Ketchum has an excellent reputation for high ethical standards,” but “the social media realm (including bloggers) is new territory for public relations practitioners, and I view this as a valuable learning opportunity.”

If some bloggers felt duped, they have nothing on the former owners of 142 West 11th Street, where Sotto Terra was staged.

Cabaret singer Cynthia Crane and playwright Ted Story, who owned the townhouse for four decades, were forced to sell it after losing their life savings to Bernard L. Madoff.

————————————

This is almost exactly what Wanchai Ferry did this past March:  Invited a whole slew of bloggers for a free dinner downtown, throwing in a $50 MC to pay for parking, etc.  The surprise here was that the dinner was frozen, bagged Wanchai Ferry.

So the next time you’re invited to a free anything, double check that you know what you’re really getting – we can stuff our freezers with Marie Callender for almost free and then never have to get dressed.

 

All the news that fits…

Okay, I screwed up earlier on the Wags diaper post, so now I’m gonna fix it.  Remember that Emails from an Ass” series I posted a few weeks ago?  This lunatic is baaaaack!  Liquid Warning:  Do not have any liquid in your mouth.  In fact try to stay away from anything food-related.  You have been warned:

Comanche Quest
Posted at: 2011-09-01 12:41:18
Original ad:
looking for a jeep comanche. must be running and in good condition. can pay up to $500. offers for other trucks will be ignored.

From Mike Partlow to *********@*********.org:

Hey, I couldn’t help but notice your ad looking for a Comanche. I don’t have one, but seeing as it is such a rare car I figured I’d help you out and put you in touch with a friend of mine who is selling his. Would you like his contact information?

Mike

From Joel ******* to Mike Partlow:

yeah that would be great thanks

From Mike Partlow to Joel *******:

Okay, it is ***********@gmail.com. Just tell him Mike sent ya.

Mike

From Joel ******* to Mike Partlow:

ok thanks


From Joel ******* to Leo D:

hey there your friend mike told me that you were interested in selling your jeep comanche?

From Leo D to Joel *******:

Ugh…freaking Mike. I’m sorry. Mike is an idiot. I told him that I knew a guy selling a Comanche. I’m not selling one. If you want I can have that guy contact you. I’ll give his email address: *******@yahoo.com

Sorry about that.

Leo

From Joel ******* to Leo D:

okay…


From Joel ******* to Chris Vandrell:

hey your friend leo told me you were selling a comanche?

From Chris Vandrell to Joel *******:

Ah, Leo! I haven’t talked to him in forever! How’s he doing?

From Joel ******* to Chris Vandrell:

i dunno. i just met him online

From Chris Vandrell to Joel *******:

Do me a favor, will ya? Tell Leo that Chris asked how he’s doing?

From Joel ******* to Chris Vandrell:

are you selling a jeep comanche?

From Chris Vandrell to Joel *******:

What did Leo say?

From Joel ******* to Chris Vandrell:

he said he is good

From Chris Vandrell to Joel *******:

Great! Anyway, I’m not selling the Comanche, my brother is. Can I give him your email address so he can get in touch with you? His name is Randy.

From Joel ******* to Chris Vandrell:

oh god dammit. fine give him my email

From Chris Vandrell to Joel *******:

Will do!

From Chris Vandrell to Joel *******:

Hey, I just talked to Leo. He said you didn’t tell him I asked how he was doing! Why did you lie to me?

From Joel ******* to Chris Vandrell:

look i dont give a FUCK man i just want to buy a fuckin comanche and you keep dicking me around. who gives a fuck how hes doing if you were talking to him then why the fuck didnt you just fucking ask him? for christ’s sake just fucking put me through to the guy selling the comanche already

From Chris Vandrell to Joel *******:

Calm down, son. No need to get your panties in a bunch. I just got off the phone with Randy and he is going to email you shortly.


From Randy Vandrell to Joel *******:

Hello! Is this Joe?

From Joel ******* to Randy Vandrell:

no my name is joel

From Randy Vandrell to Joel *******:

Oh, my mistake. I must have misheard Chris. I couldn’t really hear him over the phone. He is using one of those new “smart phones” but personally I think they sound terrible. You won’t find me using one of those, no sir. My good-ol-fashioned land line phone will do me just fine. Everyone always tells me I sound very clear on my phone, they ask me “Randy, how do you sound so crisp and clear on your phone?” and I tell them “I’m using a land line! If you want to sound clear, take your cell phone and throw it in the trash!” This new technology is a load of garbage if you ask me. You don’t use a cell phone, do ya Joe? I wouldn’t if I were you. Anyway, I just got off the phone with Chris. He tells me you are interested in buying my Jeep Cherokee?

From Joel ******* to Randy Vandrell:

no a jeep COMANCHE. please tell me you have a comanche not a fuckign cherokee

From Randy Vandrell to Joel *******:

Ah, the Jeep Comanche! A fine vehicle. Mine was a 1994, had a lot of good times in that truck. Once I drove that truck all the way to Newark! Couldn’t believe it made it, but that truck was one tough son-of-a-bitch. It was a long trip but I just popped in my Johnny Cash cassette tapes and I was set for the whole ride. Do you listen to Johnny Cash? Great man, he was. Anyway, the Comanche. I was selling that, yes. Unfortunately, I sold it to a guy about a month ago. Real nice guy who bought it, I’m trying to remember his name. I remember thinking it was Mike but it wasn’t Mike. It was something foreign…I’m leaning towards “Mikel.”

From Joel ******* to Randy Vandrell:

i dont give a fuck what his name is asshole. what the FUCK you fucking idiots just wasted my fucking time for nothing

From Randy Vandrell to Joel *******:

Boy, Chris was right when he said you were an angry lad. Relax, I’ve got some good news for you. Mikel loved the Comanche, but he has to move far away and is unable to take the truck with him. Therefore he is trying to sell the truck. He tried to sell it back to me for 500 bucks, but I told him “Mikel, why in the hell would I need the Comanche? I just bought a new F150!” You should see my F150, it is really nice. Perfect for hauling my ATVs to Chris’s house. Chris has a lot of property up in Hagerstown and we love to go offroading there with his pal Leo. Leo sure is a crazy son-of-a-bitch! Speaking of Leo, what’s this I hear about you lying to Chris about asking Leo how he’s doing? Why would you do that?

From Joel ******* to Randy Vandrell:

ENOUGH WITH THE RANTS JUST SHUT UP!!!!! HOLY SHIT WILL YOU JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!? I DONT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT ANY OF YOUR SHIT ASS STORIES JUST GIVE ME THE FUCKING GUY WHO IS SELLING THE COMANCHE!!! GOT THAT? NOT HIS SON, NOT HIS FUCKING BROTHER, JUST THE GUY WITH THE TRUCK. QUIT WASTING MY FUCKING TIME

From Randy Vandrell to Joel *******:

Jeez, you sure are an angry fella! Don’t like to talk much, do ya? I understand you’re just trying to buy a truck. You’re all business, I respect that. You’re going to want to email Mikel. I am confident he is still trying to sell the truck. You’ll love it, its a real beaut. Mikel’s email address is ***********@hotmail.com


From Joel ******* to Mikk Sisask:

hey some jackass named randy told me he sold you a jeep comanche and you are looking to sell it?

From Mikk Sisask to Joel *******:

Olen segaduses. Mida sa sellega öelda tahad? Kas te räägite eesti keeles?

From Joel ******* to Mikk Sisask:

fucking hell…ENGLISH? do you speak english?

From Mikk Sisask to Joel *******:

American, yes?

From Joel ******* to Mikk Sisask:

yes philadelphia are you selling a jeep comanche?

From Mikk Sisask to Joel *******:

Yes! Car sale, me to you sales of vehicle, yes?

From Joel ******* to Mikk Sisask:

yeah do you have pictures/information?

From Mikk Sisask to Joel *******:

Yes photographs!

Its nice cars, yes?

From Joel ******* to Mikk Sisask:

THATS NOT A FUCKING JEEP COMANCHE RETARD

From Mikk Sisask to Joel *******:

Oh you buys Jeep from me, yes? Comanche strongs truck! Loud! Vrrrrrrrr! Ha ha ha.

From Joel ******* to Mikk Sisask:

ha fucking ha. send me a picture of the fucking jeep

From Mikk Sisask to Joel *******:

From Joel ******* to Mikk Sisask:

YES that is what i want. how much are you selling it for?

From Mikk Sisask to Joel *******:

I sells for 5800 Kroons, yes?

From Joel ******* to Mikk Sisask:

what the fuck is a kroon? how much in AMERICAN MONEY?

From Mikk Sisask to Joel *******:

Oh no, no Americans Dollars in here Estonia. Onlys kroon. Yous comes to Estonia to buy?

From Joel ******* to Mikk Sisask:

the jeep is in fucking estonia are you shitting me? i dont even know where the fuck that is

From Mikk Sisask to Joel *******:

Yes, Estonia. Yous comes buy, yes?

From Joel ******* to Mikk Sisask:

NO! FUCK ESTONIA AND FUCK YOU!!! GODDAMMIT WHAT A WASTE OF FUCKING TIME

All the news that fits…

Put down your cup time! You’ve been warned.  This is from a site by Mike Anderson called E-mails from an Asshole, where he sends emails to people who post classified ads.

Childhood Classics
 Original ad:
Wanted – CHILDRENS DVDS
Movies wanted for children aged 5 and up – will take all unwanted DVDs!
From Me to *********@**********.org:
Hey there!
I’m trying to get rid of a bunch of movies I’ve had since I was a kid. The movie stores won’t take them, and it would be a shame for me to just throw them out. I’d love to pass them on to people who can enjoy them. Let me know if you are interested.
Mike

From Julia ****** to Me:
Mike – Which movies do you have and how much do you want for them?
From Me to Julia ******:
Julia,
Here is the full list:

Alvin and the Chipmunks
Alladin
Backdoor Creampies 2
Beauty and the Beast
Big Black Threesome
Fantasia
Finally 18 and Legal
The Lion King
Mattress Slaves 3
The Mighty Ducks
Toy Story
Wet Squirters 5
Please let me know which ones you want.
Thanks,
Mike

From Julia ****** to Me:
Mike…some of those titles are inappropriate.

From Me to Julia ******:
Julia,
Which titles are inappropriate?
Mike

From Julia ****** to Me:
I think you know which ones…

From Me to Julia ******:
Are you talking about Fantasia? I know, I thought it was a Vietnam war movie too. I assure you it has nothing to do with Asia and is completely appropriate for children. The only other title I think you are referring to as inappropriate is The Lion King, but I think you are confusing that with “The Scorpion King,” the violent movie starring Dwayne Johnson. While the Lion King does have adult themes, it is nothing like The Scorpion King.

I hope this clears things up.
Mike

From Julia ****** to Me:
No…explain to me how these movies are for children??? Backdoor Creampies, Big Black Threesome, Finally 18 and Legal, Mattress Slaves 3, Wet Squirters 5. It sounds to me like you are trying to throw out your porn collection.

From Me to Julia ******:
Pornography? What a disgusting accusation! What kind of a person do you think I am? You have a really perverted mind if you think those movies are adult films.

You’ve really never heard of those movies? Where was your childhood? I’ll find the plot summaries for you.

Backdoor Creampies – Cindy, a little girl with big ambitions, decides to open a bakery in her parents kitchen – selling pies to children who come to her backyard. Cindy learns that running a business isn’t all fun and games in this hilarious tale of entrepreneurship.

Big Black Threesome – Barry, Billy and Bernie are three lovable black bears who have zany adventures during their quest for honey.

Finally 18 and Legal – A coming of age story about a young girl who becomes an independent woman.

Mattress Slaves 3 – Part 3 of the shocking documentary about slave labor in the mattress industry of third world countries. (Acceptable for kids, and in my opinion, a necessity to educate them on some real world issues. I never bought a foreign mattress again after this eye-opener.)

Wet Squirters 5 – The Squirters gang is back again in this heartwarming tale about a group of whales who try to find their long lost father in a vast ocean of wet sea critters.
Once again, I hope this clears things up for you.
Mike

From Julia ****** to Me:
You expect me to believe that all of those movies simply have unfortunate titles? Nice try.

From Me to Julia ******:
Sorry to disappoint your sick mind Julia, but yes, they are all children’s movies. So do you want them or not?
By the way, I just found 3 more movies to add to the collection I am offering:
Toy Story 2
James and the Giant Peach
Walt Disney’s Double Penetration Cockblasts 3
Mike
From Julia ****** to Me:
Okay I’ve had enough of this. You are a nut.
From Me to Julia ******:
Think of the children, Julia. They will never get to enjoy these classic films because of you.
From Julia ****** to Me:
Go to hell.

Rocked
Original ad:

Clean fill
Need clean fill rocks are fine. not much. cannot pick up must deliver. will take off you hands for free.
From Me to brad ********:
Hello,
I have some rocks I need to get rid of. I have several different types of rocks ranging from 1/2″ to 6″ rocks. Just let me know what kind you want, how much you need, and when I can send my guy to deliver.
Thanks,
Mike
From brad ******** to Me:
well i need them to fill a small whole in my backyard so bigger rocks i guess? 6 inch would be good. i only need like 2 wheelbarow loads so not too many. when can you deliver?
From Me to brad ********:
6″ it is. I can have a truck there to deliver any time between 9-5 Monday through Friday. Where are you located?
Mike
From brad ******** to Me:
do i have to be there for the delivery? i work every day so those times arent gonna work for me. if its cool could you drop them off tomorrow? just tell your guy to put them on the grass at the edge of my driveway next to the shed
heres my address:
517 *********** ln
coatesville, pa
From Me to brad ********:
No, you do not have to be there. I will forward this information to my driver and you can expect the rocks tomorrow.
From brad ******** to Me:
great

The rest of this conversation is the following day. I looked up his address in Google street view to figure out what his driveway looked like.
From Me to brad ********:
Hey Brad,
Just wanted to let you know, we actually need to get rid a few more rocks, so my guy is going to deliver them to your house in about 15 minutes.
Mike
From brad ******** to Me:
wait what how many more? i dont want any more i have nowhere to put them
From Me to brad ********:
We sent a truckload with about 8 tons of 6″ rocks. Don’t worry, all the rocks are free of charge.
From brad ******** to Me:
8 TONS? what the fuck you better tell your guy not to deliver them
From brad ******** to Me:
you got that? DONT DELIVER THE ROCKS
From Me to brad ********:
I just got off the phone with my guy, he said he just delivered the rocks. He told me you didn’t leave him enough room for all 8 tons by the shed, so he just dumped them in front of your garage.
Best,
Mike
From brad ******** to Me:
WHAT THE FUCK!!!! i told you dont delever them you fucking dipshit! the fuck am i gonna do with all those rocks? you better get rid of them by the time i get home man….. how am i suposed to park my fucking car?
From Me to brad ********:
I am sorry that we had to block your garage, but you should have left more room next to the shed if you wanted them dumped there. Unfortunately we lack the necessary machinery to load the rocks back into the truck so removal is not an option. Also, my driver said he accidentally backed into your shed and broke one of the windows. We apologize for this. Consider the free extra rocks as compensation for the damage.
Mike

From brad ******** to Me:
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDING ME MOTHER FUCKER YOUR PAYING FOR THE SHED
I LEFT YOU PLENTY FUCKING ROOM FOR THE AMT OF ROCKS I ASKEDFOR. YOU DIDNT SAY YOU WERE DELIVERIG 8 FUCKING TONS OF ROCKS YOU PEICE OF SHIT!!!! USE YOUR HANDS I DONT GIVE A FUCK HOW YOU DO IT BUT IF I FIND 8 TONS OF ROCKS IN MY DRIVE WAY THERE IS GONNA FUCKING HELL TO PAY
FUCKING ASSHOLE
From Me to brad ********:
Brad,
If you insist on us removing the rocks then we are going to have to charge you a $500 rock removal fee.
Mike
From brad ******** to Me:
THIS IS SOME FUCKING BULLSHIT
From Me to brad ********:
I am sorry you feel that way, but without the $500 removal fee, we cannot remove the rocks. I realize you must be upset about your shed, so if you like, we can deliver another 4 tons of rocks as our way of apologizing for the shed.
Mike
From brad ******** to Me:
NO DICKHEAD WHY THE FUCK WOULD I WANT MORE ROCKS??? DUMBASS
THIS IS YOUR FUCKING FAULT. I DIDNT ASK FOR 8 TONS OF ROCKS AND IM NOT PAYING SHIT. YOU OWE ME FOR THE SHED AND YOU GET THOSE ROCKS THE FUCK OUT OF THERE YOU FUCKING PRICK
From Me to brad ********:
If you aren’t paying, then you have to keep the rocks. These are really nice rocks, though. I’m sure you will be able to find use for them. I have a pile of rocks in my backyard and it makes for a great conversation piece. If deer are a problem in your backyard, you can use these rocks to throw at them. They also make great paperweights. There are plenty of things to do with these rocks, so enjoy them.
Mike
From brad ******** to Me:
im at my house now. where are the rocks?
From brad ******** to Me:
oh FUCK YOU

Incompetent Phone Repairman
Original ad:
PHONE BROKEN? NO PROBLEM! ***PHONE REPAIRS***
We can fix any phone problem, and fast! Have your phone fixed while you wait. Water damage? No problem. Cracked screen? No problem. Low prices! Customer satisfaction is our priority.
We are located off of Rt 3 near Upper Darby.
From Me to ***********@*********.org:
Hi there,
I’m not sure what happened, but my phone simply stopped working last night. I was talking on it and it suddenly shut off and won’t turn on. Do you think you would be able to repair it?
Mike
From Will ******* to Me:
We most certainly can fix it. What kind of phone is it?
From Me to Will *******:
Oh, I’m not sure…I’m not too good when it comes to technology. If I took a picture of the phone, would you be able to tell?
From Will ******* to Me:
Yes. Or you could check near the battery cover and find the model number.
From Me to Will *******:I’m not sure how to get to the battery cover. I’ll just send you a picture of it:

Mike
From Will ******* to Me:
Holy Christ! What the hell did you do to that thing?!
From Me to Will *******:
I’m not sure…I think I might have dropped it.
Mike

From Will ******* to Me:
…into a fire?!?!?!
From Me to Will *******:
No, I think I’d remember if that happened. So when can I bring it in to your shop?
Mike
From Will ******* to Me:
Seriously? We can’t fix that, it is burned to a damn crisp! FYI that is a Blackberry, and you may as well buy a new one – that one is ruined.
From Me to Will *******:
This is an outrage. Allow me to quote your ad: “we can fix any phone problem.”
Why can’t you fix mine? Is this your idea of “customer satisfaction” ?
Mike
From Will ******* to Me:
Look, asshole, most phone problems are cracked screens and water damage, which we can fix. What are we supposed to do with a melted hunk of plastic that used to be a phone?
From Me to Will *******:
You tell me. You’re supposed to be the expert. Perhaps you should change the wording of your ad so you stop tricking people into thinking you can fix their phones when you can’t.
Mike
From Will ******* to Me:
Perhaps you should go fuck yourself.
Clumsy Seller
 Original ad:
MULTI-DISC CD player wanted
WTB a CD changer that can hold at least 50 CDs. Must be in good condition. Email or call 215-***-****
From Me to *********@*********.org:
Hello,
I am selling my 60-Disc Technics SL-MC4 CD changer. This thing is in excellent condition and works great. I have included a picture of it. I’m asking $75 for it. Please let me know if you are interested.
Best,
Mike

Attachments:

From Steve ******* to Me:

Mike, the CD player looks good. Does it have a remote? If so, I can pick it up tomorrow. Where do you live?
Steve

From Me to Steve *******:
Steve,
It does have a remote. Tomorrow works for me, I work in Manayunk near the hospital and can bring the CD player to work with me. We can meet anywhere around there in the afternoon.

Just one minor thing though, and I truly am sorry about this, but I accidentally tripped over the CD player in the dark earlier and chipped the side of the plastic cover. There isn’t a screen there and it does not affect the performance whatsoever, but I just thought I should let you know. I’ve included a picture of the small chip.
Mike

Attachments:

From Steve ******* to Me:
No worries… That is fine. What’s your phone number? Mine is 215-***-****.
From Me to Steve *******:
Steve, I’m really sorry, but I accidentally damaged it a little more. I really should have moved it out of the middle of the hallway, because I just tripped over it again. Unfortunately I was wearing steel-tipped boots and cracked the plastic cover around the screen. A few of the buttons got mashed in as well. You can still play songs 1, 2, 4, 5, 7, and 9, though. Or just use the remote. It still plays CDs fine, and I’ve included a picture of it powered on so you can see that it still works.

Once again, I am terribly sorry about this. I am going to knock $10 off of the price for your inconvenience.
Mike

Attachments:

From Steve ******* to Me:
Could you drop the price down to $50? That looks pretty bad.

From Me to Steve *******:
Sure. It is my fault for tripping over it anyway.

From Me to Steve *******:
Hey, it’s me again. I was loading the CD player into my trunk to bring to work tomorrow, but then my friend called me and I got distracted. Long story short, I forgot the CD player was behind my car and I accidentally backed over it a little bit when I went to go to Wawa. Thankfully I hit the brakes before I crushed anything important, but the back frame is a little bent.

I assure you that the CD player still works. On the bright side, the car must have popped that chipped plastic cover off of the front, so now you can clearly see the real screen. I think it looks better, don’t you? From the front, staring at it head on, you can’t even tell that the back is bashed in like that. Seeing as I improved the looks from the front, I am going to bump the price back up to $60.

I am going to try my best to bend the metal frame back to the way it was. Once again, I am very sorry about this.

Mike

From Steve ******* to Me:
Are you kidding me? That thing is ruined. What a freaking klutz you are! How didn’t you realize it was behind your car?

From Steve ******* to Me:
Oh, and you have the nerve to charge me MORE money for breaking it worse?

From Me to Steve *******:
Don’t worry, I can fix it. I’m working on fixing it right now.

From Me to Steve *******:
Okay, I’ve got good news and bad news. The good news is, the CD player still works. The bad news is that I was smoking a cigar while I was trying to repair it, and it accidentally set part of the CD player on fire.

As you can see from the picture, some of the CD player has melted. Thanks to my 2 months experience as a volunteer firefighter, my instincts kicked in and I was able to extinguish the flames with my coffee before too much of the CD player melted. It still can hold about 33-35 CDs, and all that stuff that melted on the right side wasn’t important anyway.

Unfortunately, I drink expensive coffee and it was nearly full when I had to use it to put out the fire. Therefore, I am adding another $3 to the price of the CD player to bring the grand total to $63.

Once again, the CD player still works. I think it sounds even better than before. It is now in my trunk and ready to be sold to you tomorrow. I’ll give you a call when I have my lunch break so we can meet up for the sale.
Thanks,
Mike

From Steve ******* to Me:
You must be stupid if you think I’ll pay $63 for the charred remains of your CD player. I can’t believe how badly you managed to fuck that thing up. How are you still alive? How have you managed to make it this far in life, when CLEARLY you are too foolish to keep even a CD player from being burned to a crisp? I really want to know! Please, Mike, tell me.
From Me to Steve *******:
I’m sorry if I upset you by bumping the price up to $63. Let’s just call it $60. Deal?
From Steve ******* to Me:
…how are you this dumb?

Spacious Studio Apartment
Original ad:
Hello. I am a responsible young professional looking to sublet a studio or 1 br apt in or around East village. I am looking to move in on Mar 15. 2000/mo is my budget. Thans

From Me to **********@********.org:
Hey,
I am leaving for London on business and need to sublet my studio apartment immediately. It is a beautiful spacious apartment in the East Village (near Tompkins Square Park). Rent is $1750/month and you can move in as soon as February 25th. Please let me know if you are interested.
Regards,
Mike

From Ari ****** to Me:
Hi Mike thanks for responding. A few questions: how big is the apt? how long can is the lease til? do you have any pics or a floor plan? I want to move in on mar 15- is that ok?

From Me to Ari ******:
March 15th is fine with me. The apartment is 370 square feet. I don’t have any pictures, but I have included a floor plan to give you an idea of the layout of the apartment. The lease is up in November 2011, but you have the option to renew if you wish. Please let me know if you have any more questions about the apartment.
Mike

Attachments:

From Ari ****** to Me:
Mike did you send me the wrong plan or is there really a pool in your apartment.

From Me to Ari ******:
Oh, yes. I should have mentioned the pool. I had an exercise pool installed in the apartment because I was training for a swimming marathon. It is a really nice pool. It is 39 inches deep with powerful jets and a vinyl liner. The pool is great if you like to swim.
Mike

From Ari ****** to Me:
Thats a pretty important thing to forget to mention, doncha think?! It takes up the whole f-ing apartment! How is there no bathroom?? Where am I supposed to shower and sleep?

From Me to Ari ******:
I know, it is a really nice pool. I usually use the kitchen as the bathroom. You can either pee in the sink, or out the window. The window overlooks an alley behind 5th St, and most of the time nobody walks below you. Even if you do piss on someone, you are on the 7th floor so they will probably have no idea where it came from. By the time it hits them, you will most likely be zipped up and have the window shut. The sink has a garbage disposal in case you need to take a dump.

Showering? You don’t need to shower – you have a pool! Just go for a swim any time you are trying to wash off.

Sleep? I’ve got that covered too. I have an extremely comfortable pool raft I sleep on. It is like sleeping on a waterbed! It has a couple of cup holders you can put your phone/keys/beer/whatever in. I’ll include this with the apartment for an extra $10.

I am free tomorrow if you want to check the place out and fill out the sublet papers.
Mike

From Ari ****** to Me:
Hmm well yes that does sound nice, but I am looking for a place where I dont have to shit in my sink and sleep in a goddamn pool. Come on man! Good luck finding someone to rent you’ll need it!

From Me to Ari ******:You don’t have to shit in the sink, it is just an option. You can also shit out the window, or shit in a bucket next to the window and dump it out the window. There is an Indian restaurant that backs up to the alley, so it already smells like shit down there.

At least come over and try my raft before you decide that sleeping in a pool is a bad thing. I’ll even throw in a couple of pool noodles for free.
Mike

From Ari ****** to Me:
Stop trying to sell me your POS apartment, if you can even call it that. You know what makes an apartment an apartment? A bed. Bathroom. Furnature. NOT A FUCKING POOL.

Why am I arguing with you? This is fucking ridiculous. Conversation over.
From Me to Ari ******:
Why are you so afraid of sleeping in this pool? Be honest, do you not know how to swim? If so, I can give you the number of a good lifeguard I know.

From Ari ****** to Me:
Shut the hell up. I hope you drown in your pool!

All the News that fits…

Reuters

General Motors Co. is seeking to dismiss a lawsuit over a suspension problem on more than 400,000 Chevrolet Impalas from the 2007 and 2008 model years, saying it should not be responsible for repairs because the flaw predated its bankruptcy.

The lawsuit, filed on June 29 by Donna Trusky of Blakely, Penn., contended that her Impala suffered from faulty rear spindle rods, causing her rear tires to wear out after just 6,000 miles.

Seeking class-action status and alleging breach of warranty, the lawsuit demands that GM fix the rods, saying that it had done so on Impala police vehicles.

But in a recent filing with the U.S. District Court in Detroit, GM noted that the cars were made by its predecessor General Motors Corp, now called Motors Liquidation Co or “Old GM,” before its 2009 bankruptcy and federal bailout.

The current company, called “New GM,” said it did not assume responsibility under the reorganization to fix the Impala problem, but only to make repairs “subject to conditions and limitations” in express written warranties. In essence, the automaker said, Trusky sued the wrong entity.

“New GM’s warranty obligations for vehicles sold by Old GM are limited to the express terms and conditions in the Old GM written warranties on a going-forward basis,” wrote Benjamin Jeffers, a lawyer for GM. “New GM did not assume responsibility for Old GM’s design choices, conduct, or alleged breaches of liability under the warranty.”

David Fink, Trusky’s lawyer, declined to comment.

John Penn, a former president of the American Bankruptcy Institute who is not involved in the case, said the question of “successor liability” is common for manufacturing companies that go through bankruptcy.

“The fact it comes up now is not a surprise, as this type of issue was widely discussed during GM’s bankruptcy,” said Penn, now a partner at Haynes and Boone in Fort Worth, Texas. “The court will need to evaluate the claims to see if they fit within any cubbyhole of liability that New GM assumed.”

GM said an argument similar to Trusky’s failed this year in a case involving its OnStar security and navigation product.

“There are no specific factual allegations that New GM — as opposed to Old GM — did anything at all in relation to her vehicle,” Jeffers wrote. “Plaintiff here is trying to saddle new GM with the alleged liability and conduct of old GM.”

The case is Trusky v. General Motors Co., U.S. District Court, Eastern District of Michigan, No. 11-12815.

words fail…

uh huh…

Wow!  Here’s  this really, really hot coupon that you just have to print out now now now!  Hurry before the print limit is reached (probably sometime in mid-2015).  Seriously, I’m seeing this dumb thing posted…

Save .80 on four boxes of Hamburger Helper

and people are wetting their pants over a .20 coupon…

lord, just kill me now

All the news that fits…

Cops arrest Florida woman, 23, on felony child neglect charge

View Document

  • Baby In Stroller

AUGUST 18–A Florida babysitter was arrested yesterday for felony child neglect after she loaded a stroller containing an eight-month-old boy into the back of a Dodge Ram pickup truck which then drove around on two of the area’s busiest roadways, police charge.

After receiving several 911 calls from alarmed motorists, the vehicle was approached by Daytona Beach police, who found Keyona Davis, 23, seated in the back of the truck bed next to the stroller.

The driver of the 1994 truck was identified in an arrest affidavit as “Mr. B. White,” who was cited for reckless driving.

Davis, pictured in the above mug shot, was arrested since she “should have reasonably concluded that a 8 mth old child in a stroller in the bed of a pick-up truck is a highly dangerous situation and incredibly unsafe,” according to the affidavit.

The incident, police charged, could have resulted in “serious injury or death to a child especially being driven on 2 of the most traveled roadways & intersections in the county.” It is unclear why Davis put the baby–who was not harned–in the vehicle bed instead of inside the truck’s cab.

After Davis’s arrest, cops contacted the baby’s mother, who arrived at the arrest scene and took custody of her child. The woman “was in tears as I told her about the incident,” a cop reported.

Davis is locked up in the Volusia County jail in lieu of $5000 bond. Records show that her rap sheet includes busts for car theft, cocaine possession, shoplifting, resisting arrest, criminal mischief/property damage, and fleeing law enforcement. While sentenced to 1-1/2 years on the latter two counts, she only spent spent six months in state prison before being released last January. Davis was also arrested last week for misdemeanor disorderly conduct.

Mother should have signed up for Tuesday’s Sittercity deal on familyFINDS!…

All the news that fits…

By Associated Press, Published: August 17

PARIS — An airline passenger says her Paris-to-Dublin flight was delayed nearly two hours after celebrated French actor Gerard Depardieu urinated on the plane ahead of takeoff.France’s Europe-1 radio aired an interview with the passenger, identified only by her first name Daniele, saying that Depardieu appeared inebriated and announced “’I need to piss, I need to piss.” The passenger said when the cabin crew told him to remain seated during takeoff, “he stood up and did it (urinated) on the ground.
A spokeswoman for City Jet, the Dublin-headquartered airline that operated the Tuesday evening flight, confirmed that such an incident had taken place. But spokeswoman Karen Gillo said Wednesday privacy issues prevented her from naming the passenger, who was escorted off the plane along with his two traveling companions and their luggage.Calls for comment from Depardieu’s agent went unanswered Wednesday.One of France’s most famous actors, Depardieu, 62, has appeared in more than 150 films, including 1986’s “Jean de Florette” and 1990’s “Cyrano de Bergerac,” for which he was nominated for an Academy Award.

The actor is also a Paris restaurateur and the owner of a vineyard in Burgundy.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The US skiing team has dismissed an 18-year-old member of its development squad, after he was accused of getting drunk and then urinating on a fellow passenger aboard a JetBlue flight to New York City.

Robert “Sandy” Vietze was detained by police at New York’s Kennedy airport on Wednesday morning, after arriving on a red-eye flight from Portland, Oregon. He faces a federal misdemeanour charge of indecent exposure, according to the US attorney’s office in Brooklyn.

The US Ski and Snowboard Association executive vice-president of athletics, Luke Bodensteiner, said in a statement that Vietze had been dismissed from the team for conduct violations. “Based on the information we have, Sandy Vietze is in violation of the USSA code of conduct and team agreement, and has been dismissed from the team,” confirmed Bodensteiner.

Vietze was nominated to the development team this spring after excelling as an alipine skier at the Green Mountain Valley school, a top ski academy and high school in Waitsfield, Vermont, where tuition costs as much as $42,384 a year. He had been scheduled to compete on the national ski team’s developmental squad for the 2011-12 season.

A Port Authority police department detective wrote in court documents that Vietze told him he had consumed five or six beers and two rum and cola cocktails before boarding the flight. He said he passed out in his seat and awoke to find himself being yelled at by the father of a 12-year-old girl. The girl’s father told the detective that when he returned from a trip to the bathroom at 2.30 am, he found Vietze urinating on his daughter. The man described Vietze as “out of it”.

The Port Authority initially told news outlets on Thursday that federal prosecutors had decided to drop the indecent exposure charge, but a spokesman for the US attorney’s office, Robert Nardoza, said on Friday that the case is still pending. The charge carries a maximum fine of $1,000 and a possibility of up to a year in jail, although time behind bars would be very unusual in such a case.

www.guardian.co.uk

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

A Jetstar passenger who urinated in a plane aisle during a flight, spraying other passengers, has been let off with a warning.

The man was flying from Auckland to Singapore on Monday when he answered the call of nature about six hours into the 11-hour trip.  A passenger said the man urinated on to another man’s leg and the scarf of a female passenger.

“I hear this sound of running water and then I hear a guy going ‘No, no, no, what the hell is wrong with you?’ And there’s this guy pissing in the aisle, waving back and forth,” Amos Chapple told the New Zealand Herald.

Jetstar confirmed that the crew had to “counsel and manage” a inebriated passenger who “engaged in inappropriate and disruptive behaviour. We can confirm on this occasion, our crew followed all standard procedures including confiscating alcohol brought on board and issuing an onboard warning in conjunction with advice from the captain,” the airline said in a statement.  Police were not called as the passenger was no longer disruptive after being warned, the airline said.

“As per our standard procedures, an internal report has been filed and we are following standard internal process including reviewing the customer’s future suitability for travel.”  Mr Chapple said he had confronted the man in Singapore but he appeared to have no idea what he had done during the flight.

Jetstar said it was in the process of contacting the customers impacted by the inappropriate behaviour to offer compensation.

theage.com.au

and these stories will only proliferate if airlines add a fee to pee Amtrack looks better and better…

Jewel – gluten-free HH

I am shocked that I can buy HH gluten-free chicken fried rice for .075 a box!  I did not see this earlier or I would definitely have posted it.  The gluten-free boxes were not tagged as being part of the promotion, but I decided to try it.  Rang at $1 each and at 10 they spit out the two Bonus Box Tops cats.  Paid and out spit the $5 and the $2 cats.  This is at the Lisle Jewel and they will be placing large orders, so give ’em a call if you want/need the gluten-free varieties.