Warning: Put down the glass you’re drinking from, sit up straight and make sure you are not chewing or swallowing anything that could be a potential choking hazard. Now continue reading…
And that’s why you should learn to pick your battles.
This morning I had a fight with Victor about towels. I can’t tell you the details because it wasn’t interesting enough to document at the time, but it was basically me telling Victor I needed to buy new bath towels, and Victor insisting that I NOT buy towels because I “just bought new towels“. Then I pointed out that the last towels I’d bought were hot pink beach towels, and he was all “EXACTLY” and then I hit my head against the wall for an hour.
Then Laura came to pick me up so we could go to the discount outlet together, and as Victor gave me a kiss goodbye he lovingly whispered, “You are not allowed to bring any more goddam towels in this house or I will strangle you“. And that was exactly what I was still echoing through my head an hour later, when Laura and I stopped our shopping carts and stared up in confused, silent awe at a display of enormous metal chickens, made from rusted oil drums.
Knock-knock, motherfucker
To continue reading this (and believe me it gets crazy funnier), click the top headline. Shame the bitch lives in Texas.
OMG! That was the best! Thanks for sharing….just as I will! 🙂
spew!!
that is histerical!
I so would do that. dont tempt me.
I just want to say THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for introducing me to this sleep deprived lunatic! I’ve been reading her posts for the last 2.5 hours and between pissing myself and laughing til I’ve cried…well-I haven’t had this much fun in forever!
You should follow her on twitter if you don’t already.
Thank you for the “put the coffee down” warning!
I totally laughed my ass off! I think those of us that laughed the hardest were definately of the mindset of, “I would totally do that!” I want a chicken just to make the neighbors talk about us! (More than they currently do!!!)
Thanks for the laugh!
Thanks for bringing that to our attention!!! That was just the laugh I needed while hungover sitting at work.