wanna crowdfund this?

See, all I need is $500,000 and … oh wait, they only want a Promissory Note to release my funds. Heck, anybody who knows me wouldn’t give me a 5¢ loan on a 10¢ gumball with a nickel down, so I gots no problems with this puppy!  Forget crowdfunding – this sucker’s all mine…bwahahahahahaha *cough*

From Mr. James Davis
My name is Mr. James Davis, Director Zenith Bank Nigeria Plc I am contacting based on a recent meeting held with the Office of the Presidency, Federal Republic of Nigeria in conjunction with the Federal Ministry of Finance and Senate committee Budget Planning  Unite, National House of Assembly-Federal Republic of Nigeria. After the meeting, it was agreed that you will receive a “Part Payment” of Eighteen Million United States Dollars Only {US$18,000,000.00} out of your long complicated outstanding payment.
Why we did this, is because according to information gathered from the banks computer, you have been waiting for a long time to receive your money without success, as I found out that you have almost met all the statutory requirements of the Zenith Bank, in respect of your contract payment, your problem is that of interest groups. I am willing to help you get your money but please for security reasons do not tell anybody that you have your money until you receive cash at your doorstep. This is something we want to avoid because the boxes were padded with machine. We told the courier service that the boxes contains photographic and film materials and when opened will loose its efficacy. We did not declare money because courier service does not carry money.
In your subsequence response I shall send you the details of the courier company which will be in charge of the delivery to your location, we have concluded that you must compensate us with $500,000 United States dollars as soon as you receive your money. To this effect, you will send us a promissory note for $500,000 United States dollars along with your address for sending the boxes by courier. Please maintain topmost secrecy as it may cause a lot of problems if found out that we are using this way to help you, do not ever tell anybody about this until you have your money. You are required to re-confirm the under listed details as soon as possible for onward shipment of your over due contract fund:
1, Your Full names: ………………………………….……………………
2, Your full delivery address: ………………………………..………..
3, Your direct phone number: …………………………………….
4, Home Phone Number: ………………………………….……..
5, Sex: ………………………………..……………………………….
6, Age: ………………………………………………………………
7, Your occupation: ………………………………………….
8, Country: …………………………………………………….
God is with us as we wait for your reply.
Yours faithfully,
Mr.  James Davis
Zenith Bank Nigeria Plc
Posted in All the news that fits, Brain Bits

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