Mom brings dead son to soccer game

and now some light-hearted news from Cafe Mom…


When 17-year-old Cristopher Alexander Jácome Sanguino was shot and killed in a drive-by outside his home in Colombia, I don’t think he imagined that he’d be at a soccer game the next day. That’s exactly where he was, though. Thanks to his mother and 300 screaming fans.

Here’s how it all went down: There were about 15 minutes left in the game. The police were spacing out. And in rushed between 200 to 300 fans, coffin in tow. See, Cristopher was a hard-core fan of Cúcuta Deportivo, one of the teams playing. And it seems like it was his dying wish to be there for this match — except he didn’t know he was going to die. So, is this really sweet or really creepy?

I’m going to go with creepy. I mean, Cristopher died the day before. Abruptly. I can’t imagine having the strength to concoct such a plan at such a time, much less the will to carry it out. Not to mention the fact that I would be really nervous having my loved one’s deceased body parading around such a rowdy place — and that’s body, not urn.

There’s a part of me — part of me — that understands this, though. When someone we love dies, we want to honor them, do as they’d do (which, in this case, not so sure about — I mean, would you want this?). But sometimes, and I’m thinking this was the case here, we’re just flat-out not thinking straight.

Perhaps it would have been less … strange if Cristopher’s family had some sort of ceremony at their house with the game on? Or, and I hate to be crass here, if they brought him to the game if he was cremated. To bum-rush a stadium with thousands of drunk, fired-up fans? Doesn’t seem like the safest place for a dead body.

Either way, it’s incredibly sad that Cristopher was killed at such a young age and in such a violent way. If it brought his mother some solace, more power to her. I may be a bit straight-laced, but bringing deceased bodies to soccer games just isn’t for me.

Goddess says, “I can understand driving with the body if you’re going to be using those multi-rider lanes on the expressways, but otherwise?”

Obese Ohio Man Found Fused to Chair

Wow, and here I thought I was gonna be stuck posting more of those “found dead/decomposed under piles of garbage” stories about hoarders…better news stories ahead, thanks to Fox!

A morbidly obese Ohio man was in the hospital Tuesday after police found him fused to a chair he had not moved from in two years and were forced to cut a hole in the wall of his house just to get him out, WTRF-TV reported.

The unnamed man lived with two able-bodied roommates — including his girlfriend, who officials said fed him since he never got up — in a home in Bellaire, Ohio. The roommates called police upon finding the man unresponsive on Sunday.

Officers who responded to the scene said that the man’s skin was fused to the fabric of chair and that he was sitting in his own feces and urine with maggots visible.

One officer said it was the worst thing he had ever responded to. Another told the local TV station he had to throw away his uniform after helping remove the man from the chair.

“The living room where the man lived in his chair was very filthy, very deplorable. It’s unbelievable that somebody lives in conditions like that,” Jim Chase, a local city code enforcer, told WTRF.

“I instructed the landlord this [Monday] morning and the two people, the tenants at the house, they had to get it cleaned, there’s no way they can live in something like that, and so they are working on it,” he added.

The landlord told WTRF that the man used to be an active person and said she had no idea how bad his condition was since he covered himself with a blanket every time she came to visit.

Note: picture is random, don’t know/care to know what the actual guy in the article looks like…shudder…

IL DUI laws – USA’s standup comedians

Another nice news story about our (dys)functional legal system.

Officials: Elgin woman charged with 6th DUI

by George Houde

Bond was set at $100,000 today for an Elgin woman who authorities said was arrested for DUI for a sixth time.

Sandra L. Uher, 54, of the 1200 block of Maroon Drive, was charged after officials said she ran a stop sign at Shales Parkway and Summit Street in Elgin and struck another car at about 11:30 a.m. Monday.

The 6th DUI charge is an automatic Class X felony under Illinois law, prompting Judge Bridget Hughes to set the high bond in Cook County’s Rolling Meadows branch court. Conviction on a Class X charge means a minimum six years in prison.

Uher and the female driver of the other car were taken to Sherman Hospital in Elgin for treatment of minor injuries, said Assistant State’s Attorney Bill Cotter. He said police noticed the smell of alcohol on Uher’s breath, and a test showed her blood-alcohol level to be .30, more than three times the legal limit.

The prosecutor said Uher was sentenced to 18 months in prison in 2005 for a felony DUI conviction and has four other DUI convictions dating back to 1999, Cotter said. She was once arrested twice for DUI on the same day, officials said.

I personally know (not well, puhleez) a man who was recently sentenced to 90 days in jail after his 4th DUI.  Back on the streets after 45 days with time off for good behavior…

Phone Sex

Man gets 7 years for forcing modems to call premium numbers

Click here to find out more!March 01, 2011 — IDG News Service —

A New Hampshire man who made US$8 million by installing unwanted dial-up software on computers and then forcing them to call expensive premium telephone numbers was handed down an 82-month sentence on Monday.

Prosecutors say that between 2003 and 2007, Asu Pala and others put together a lucrative business by setting up premium telephone numbers in Germany — similar to the 1-900 numbers used in the U.S. — and then infecting German PCs with software that would automatically dial the numbers for short periods of time.

The guy was only caught after he bought his second Lamborghini for cash…numbnuts…

Honey, I have no idea where those 900 phone calls came from?  Read the entire article here.

Mom forgets 4 year old at library

Just a quickie to make you go “wtf?”

Staff at Elmhurst Public Library called police at at 3:15 p.m. March 24 because they had found a 4-year-old girl sitting alone on a bench in the library lobby.

They made several announcements over the library loudspeaker seeking the parent, but none came forward. They asked the girl where her parents were and the child started to cry. Police called the mother at home at 3:52 p.m. and, according to police reports, she said she “simply had forgotten the child at the library.”

No charges were filed. The case was referred to the Department of Children and Family Services for follow-up.

First of all, no matter how much and how often you would like to forget your child, I just can’t see it happening.  Let’s see…I have my library books, purse, car keys…am I forgetting anything else?  Nah, now what am I gonna make for dinner…

Fun people I’m glad I don’t know…

Cops:  Restaurant owner hospitalized by customer unhappy with his bill

The 55-year-old owner of Outriggers in Tinley Park was hospitalized with eight broken ribs and a collapsed lung Friday after an intoxicated customer unhappy with his bill allegedly attacked him Friday night.

A 40-year-old Mokena man faces a charge of battery after allegedly attacking the restaurant’s owner, police said. He was arrested at 10:37 p.m. Friday at the restaurant, 15917 S. Harlem Ave., after police responded to a call about a fight in progress and found the man being restrained by two employees.

The attacker cursed at police and resisted arrest, but was eventually taken into custody.

The owner was found in the restaurant’s office, sitting on a chair, slumped over his desk and complaining of chest pains. Before being taken by an ambulance, he told police that he had asked the customer to leave the store when he began to argue about his bill. He was walking with the customer toward the exit when the man stopped and slapped him in the head and punched him in the upper chest.

Others in the restaurant told police they saw the man hit the owner in the face with an open hand several times and then punch him in the chest. They also told police the man choked the owner by putting his arm around his neck before kicking his legs out from under him and slamming him to the ground.

After the incident, the attacker’s ex-wife and her 8-year-old son approached an officer outside of the restaurant and said they were with the man earlier, but had left before the incident occurred. Police transported the woman and her son to the police station to arrange a safe ride home because the woman was intoxicated, police said. The man was released after posting bail and is scheduled to appear in Cook County court April 27.

So this newspaper story earns this couple today’s Good Parenting Seal of Approval...

and yet another good reason to read the Trib!

Oddities from the Trib

Major spam network shut down.

The complete story in the Breaking News section of the Trib.  Which explains why I only had 60 pieces of spam in my junk folder instead of the usual 100.  and people wonder why we use google…

And then here’s another Breaking News story.  Procter & Gamble Co will raise detergent prices by 4.5 percent in June as the world’s largest household products maker starts to respond to rising costs for materials, packaging and transportation.

So we stock up now for the next year.  What’s the big deal?  Oh, wait, you mean other people don’t stock up for a year?

and yet more late-breaking Trib local news…

Police:  Man paid couple for sex party, but told wife he was taken hostage.

An Orland Park woman, who awoke recently to find her husband and a man she’d never seen before standing by the bed in their underwear, told police she didn’t understand why her husband wouldn’t let her call the police after claiming he’d been taken hostage, or why he tried to talk her into going downstairs.

Police arrested the husband for felony disorderly conduct, and the man and another woman for misdemeanor prostitution.

Police arrested Geries Fakhoury, 32, of the 9400 block of John Humphrey Drive, and Thomas C. “Chris” Chatham, 35, and Shina Tousant, 49, both of the 1200 block of South Tripp Street in Chicago on March 8.

Fakhoury told police he was the victim of an unprovoked attack by two persons he’d never met and had no idea why he’d been targeted.

Police said Fakhoury initially told them he’d been accosted by a screwdriver-wielding man and a woman as he was entering his home around 10 p.m. March 7. He allegedly told police the two made him smoke a substance he suspected was crack cocaine, coerced him into entering his home, then demanded money.

Fakhoury reportedly told the couple he had no cash but agreed to go to a nearby bank where he withdrew $800 in two $400 transactions from a cash machine.

He said he and the couple returned to his home, where they forced him to smoke some more of the substance, strip down to his underwear; the two men then paid his wife a visit.

After questioning all four, police believe instead Geries Fakhoury paid Chatham and Tousant $400 apiece for a sex party meant to include the unsuspecting wife. The wife declined Chatham’s advances and remained alone in the bedroom, police said.

Chatham and Tousant left around 12:30 a.m., taking car keys, Fakhoury’s wallet, the garage door opener and the $800.  Shortly thereafter, Fakhoury allowed his wife to call police.

Madame Zelda sees divorce court/Jerry Springer in her crystal ball…

Lombard Prostitution Bust

Does anyone else find it odd to see prostitution and bust in the same sentence?  It’s been a quiet couple of weeks on the floozie front, so here’s some cheer from the Trib local.  Click the link that takes you to the booking photos.  I vote these girls get to Charme for a makeover quick ’cause if there was ever a group in need of pampering (not pimpering), it’s them.  Ignore the first picture of their butt-ugly mother pimp.  Why can’t pimps be better looking, anyway? pro’ly for the same reason ho’s don’t look like Julia Roberts…

Joy dish soap purchase

Just received the following email from Amazon regarding the Joy dish soap:

Greetings from,

We’re writing to inform you that your order 103-9755925-9798606 from BZB Global has been canceled.

Your credit card was not charged for this order.

If you’re still interested in this item, please search for it again on

We’ve included your order details below for reference.

We value you as a customer and hope you will continue shopping on

For what it’s worth, it was scheduled to arrive in a window that started yesterday. I’ve complained to Amazon and completed a fraudulent seller complaint, since the item is back up at exactly the same price/quantity. If the Seller had originally made a listing mistake, it would not relist; bait and switch is my opinion.  If any of you want to pursue this on your own, please use the Contact Us section with a violation of rules.  Here is a copy of my transmission:

This order was scheduled to be delivered in a window which started yesterday.  Had the Seller actually made a mistake, it would have notified me before it was “shipped.”  Many people attempted to order this when I did, but received the out of stock/unavailable information when trying to complete their order; I was one of the lucky buyers.  I just checked and see that the item is back up at exactly the same price/quantity as before. If the Seller had originally made a listing mistake, it would not relist; bait and switch is my opinion.