And in response to the earlier All the news… post, baby mama sends us this beauty:
Now this is obviously a work of fiction, but I wonder: 1) how many people will read this and say Wow! that’s incredible! (those same people who believe having sex with animals results in offspring) and 2) who is bored enough to write this stuff?
Sounds like a campaign by the Just Say No folks to wipe out the porn industry. and good luck with that…
By Rene Lynch
Los Angeles Times Staff Writer
1:35 PM CST, December 22, 2011
more chins than a Chinese phone book
Republican lawmaker Jim Sensenbrenner has apologized for snarky remarks made about First Lady Michelle Obama’s figure, including that she has a “big butt” for someone who is always admonishing the nation to eat right and exercise.
“I regret my inappropriate comment and I have sent a personal note to the first lady apologizing,” the U.S. representative from Wisconsin said in a statement released to the media.
The lawmaker appears to have made two separate comments about the first lady’s derriere, both connected with his appearance at a church’s Christmas bazaar in Hartford, Wis. One church member in attendance, 72-year-old retiree Ann Marsh-Meigs, said she was among those stunned to hear Sensenbrenner’s negative comments about the first lady, which also extended beyond her figure.
At one point, she told Daniel Bice of the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, the congressman noted that the first lady wrapped up her work at a charitable event just as the media took its leave, while Sensenbrenner’s handicapped wife continued to work it.
“He then talked about how different first ladies have had different projects — Laura Bush and literacy — and he named two or three others. And then he said, ‘And Michelle Obama, her project is obesity. And look at her big butt,'” Marsh-Meigs told Bice.
She told Bice she was the only woman sitting at the table at the time, and wasn’t going to let the comment pass. “I just said, ‘I just happen to think Michelle Obama is a beautiful and elegant lady, and I think she dresses beautifully.’ And then he said, ‘Oh, well, I think she’s elegant, too.’ He just started backpedaling.'”
A while later, Sensenbrenner was reportedly overheard on a cellphone seeming to brag about the confrontation with Marsh-Meigs. According to Bice, the lawmaker allegedly said that he had been at a church event “buying all their ‘crap'” when a woman began complimenting the first lady and he told her ‘”she lectures us on eating right while she has a large posterior herself.'”
Amanda Infield, a spokeswoman for Sensenbrenner, said in a statement to Bice that Sensenbrenner planned to apologize: “Mr. Sensenbrenner was referring to the first lady’s healthy food initiative,” the statement said in part. “He doesn’t think the government should be telling Americans what to eat. While he may not agree with all of her initiatives, he plans to contact the first lady’s office to apologize for his comments.”
No word yet on whether Sensenbrenner will also apologize for his remark about the church bazaar.
This story is making headlines for another reason as well. Because it involves politics, journalism and hearsay, there is also a story behind the story.
Bice said he had the goods on this story days ago but “Unfortunately his editors made him sit on it (pun intended) to gather more information,” says Fishbowl D.C. It offers a look at the sausage-making in a story headlined, “Sensenbrenner Big Butt Plot Thickens.”
As for Michelle Obama, she is unlikely to respond to Sensenbrenner. She didn’t respond publicly when conservative talk radio host Rush Limbaugh made fun of her body shape. And besides, she’s vacationing in Hawaii with daughters Sasha and Malia.
Copyright © 2011, Los Angeles Times
Could this guy be any dumber than a box of rocks? with apologies to rocks, of course…
SAN TAN VALLEY, Ariz. — A man is in custody after allegedly texting a naked photo of his girlfriend’s daughter to nearly 40 contacts in the girl’s cellphone.
Eugene Foster, 31, was arrested for sexual exploitation of a minor, said Elias Johnson of the Pinal County Sheriff’s Office.
Foster found a photo the girl, a student at Poston Butte High School in San Tan Valley, had taken of herself, and decided to teach her a lesson by sending the photo to contacts in her phone. Investigators do not believe Foster was intentionally trying to exploit the child.
When the officials at Florence Unified School District learned about the incident, they contacted parents, asking them to immediately delete the text if they or their children received it. They also advised parents to have a conversation with their kids to explain that sharing nude photos of minors, whether by text message, e-mail or via the Internet, is illegal under state and federal child pornography laws and that the penalties and consequences of such action can be severe.
“To spread this photo further would not only add to the devastating embarrassment of one of our students, making a bad situation worse, it would make the sender subject to severe legal consequences,” Dawn Hawman, the district’s director of public relations, told parents. “The welfare of our students is always our top priority, and we appreciate your assistance in minimizing the damage done by one adult’s poor choices.”
“That’s something that you deal with at home,” said Doug Peterson, a Poston Butte father. “You don’t get other people involved. That’s just horrible.”
Even if Foster’s intentions were well-meant, what he allegedly did is against the law.
“The bottom line is sexting pictures of juveniles is wrong,” Johnson said, explaining that this is a learning experience for parents and teens.
Foster remains in custody in Pinal County Jail in lieu of $250,000 bail. PCSO is working with the Pinal County Attorney’s Office to determine how to proceed.
Goddess notes: You cain’t fix stupid…
thou shalt not steal if thou art stupid
By now I’m sure you’ve all heard about Jason S. Hamielec and Brian A. Johnson, two rocket scientists in Madison, Wisconsin, who lifted a bunch of video games and DVDs from a Target and discussed their plans to fence the goods while driving away. In a bit of cheeky news, one butt-dialed 911 and police dispatchers were treated to almost an hour of discussions about what they had stolen and where they might sell it and the description of the blue Durango they were driving and how they’d put plates on to divert suspicion.
When they decided to try unloading the goods at a video store, they were rather surprised to see police cars surround them as they entered the parking lot.
Michael T. Burns (top) and Brandon D. Arnold (Police photos)
By Andy Grimm
5:00 PM CST, November 26, 2011
Two men dressed as women were charged with mugging a teenage girl Friday as she walked near Lincoln Park Zoo, only minutes after they allegedly assaulted another pedestrian and tried to take his wallet, prosecutors said.
Brandon Arnold, 24, of the 6800 block of South Aberdeen Street, and roommate Michael Burns, 21, appeared in Cook County Central Bond Court charged with robbery and attempted armed robbery, both sporting long, styled hair and gray leggings. Their bond was set at $100,000 each.
Court records say the pair approached a 16-year-old girl as she walked past an alley in the 2300 block of North Lincoln Park West around 2:24 p.m.
Arnold asked the girl for directions, then raised a can of pepper spray and said, “Give me your camera or I’ll mace you.” The girl gave up her camera, then Arnold allegedly demanded the girl’s iPhone and ran off with Brandon down Fullerton Avenue.
Five minutes earlier, prosecutors said Arnold and Burns had attacked a man about half a mile away in the 2600 block of North Cannon Drive.
The victim said one of the men grabbed him from behind and tried to take his wallet, but the man was able to wrestle free.
“When I turned around, one was holding the can of mace, but it must have jammed or it didn’t work,” the victim said.
The man took off running with Arnold and Burns giving chase. The two alleged muggers gave up as the victim outran them. When he had enough distance from this attackers, the man called police on his cell phone.
The teenage victim was following her attackers down Fullerton when a squad car responding to the first victim’s call arrived. Burns and Arnold dropped the phone and camera in some bushes, then dropped the can of pepper spray, court records said.
“It wasn’t funny at all,” the male victim said Saturday. “These guys attacked two people, minutes apart, in broad daylight in the park.”
Goddess here: While the actual incidents aren’t funny at all, the idea of trying to describe the assailants to the police is what strikes me as funny.
By Times staff writers Los Angeles Times 5:55 a.m. CST, November 25, 2011
Matthew Lopez went to the Wal-Mart in Porter Ranch on Thursday night for the Black Friday sale but instead was caught in a pepper-spray attack by a woman who authorities said was “competitive shopping.”
Lopez described a chaotic scene in the San Fernando Valley store among shoppers looking for video games soon after the sale began.
“I heard screaming and I heard yelling,” said Lopez, 18. “Moments later, my throat stung. I was coughing really bad and watering up.”
Lopez said customers were already in the store when a whistle signaled the start of Black Friday at 10 p.m., sending shoppers hurtling in search of deeply discounted items.
By the time Lopez arrived at the video games, the display had been torn down. Employees attempted to hold back the scrum of shoppers and pick up merchandise even as customers trampled the video games and DVDs strewn on the floor.
“It was absolutely crazy,” he said.
Another customer said screams erupted after about a hundred people waiting in line to snag Xbox gaming consoles and Wii video games got into a shoving match.
Alejandra Seminario, 24, said she was waiting in line to grab some toys at the store around 9:55 p.m. when people the next aisle over started shouting and ripping at the plastic wrap encasing gaming consoles, which was supposed to be opened at 10 p.m.
“People started screaming, pulling and pushing each other, and then the whole area filled up with pepper spray,” the Selmar resident said. “I guess what triggered it was people started pulling the plastic off the pallets and then shoving and bombarding the display of games. It started with people pushing and screaming because they were getting shoved onto the boxes.”
The pepper spray wafted through the air, Seminario said, and she breathed some in and started coughing. Her face also started itching.
“I did not want to get involved. I was too scared. I just stayed in the toy aisle,” she said.
By the time she and her husband, 27-year-old Cesar Seminario, got to the cash register 20 minutes later with a Wii gaming console and some Barbie dolls, the air was still smelling of pepper spray, she said.
Wal-Mart employees were taking statements from about eight customers who had been pepper sprayed near the front of the store, Seminario said. “After we paid, we saw five that were in really bad shape,” she said. “They had been sprayed in the face, it looked like, and they had swelling of the face, really extreme swelling of face, redness, coughing.”
Nakeasha Contreras, 20, of North Hollywood, arrived at midnight and hadn’t heard what happened. Even if she had, she said, she wouldn’t have been bothered: “I don’t care. I’m still getting my TV. I’ve never seen Wal-Mart so crazy, but I guess it could have been worse.”
Joseph Poulose, who was hit with the spray near the DVD and video games display, criticized the store for failing to control the crowds.
“There were way too many people in a building that size. Every aisle was full,” he said. Customers were stomping on photo frames and other items on the floor, said Poulose, who tried to protect his pregnant wife from the throng of shoppers inside.
“It was definitely the worst Black Friday I’ve ever experienced,” he said.
and here you though shopping at Walmart on a regular day was bad enough
Wolf Blitzer buying Twilight tix
That insane woman, The Blogess, is up to her usual, well, insanity – only it makes sense to her, right? Here’s a picture of her hoodie with fangs… go read the short post.
Follow-up story on the poor sap who was being targeted by rotten apples in the Chicago Police Department. At least I’ll get a good laugh when those FOP fundraisers call for cash. I particular like that one of them was recently fired TWO YEARS after putting a bag of dog shit on someone’s porch and pulling a gun.
Jon Yates’ “What’s Your Problem?”
November 22, 2011
The Fraternal Order of Police has come to the defense of four officers accused of writing false parking tickets, claiming the charges against them are bogus.
But the union takes particular exception to the treatment of one of the officers, Steven Sabatino, calling his unpaid suspension unfair — and unpatriotic.
Sabatino is serving with the Air National Guard in Afghanistan and is not scheduled to return to the U.S. until spring. That means he will not receive a hearing on his case until perhaps summer, leaving him without a Police Department paycheck for almost a year.
“We are deeply disappointed with the Chicago Police Department’s decision to take such action while our member is serving our country and is not available to defend himself against these allegations,” union spokesman Pat Camden said in an email to the Problem Solver. “A patriot such as officer Sabatino is owed far better treatment from his employer than a suspension from his employment and pay while serving his country in a war zone.”
Superintendent Garry McCarthy suspended the officers without pay Sept. 26 and has moved to have them fired for their alleged roles in a scheme to write Orland Park resident Mark Geinosky two dozen false parking tickets.
The officers’ fates now rest with the Police Board, which will determine if they should be terminated.
The other three officers, Paul Roque, Horst Hegewald and William Whelehan, are expected to have their hearings in January or February.
A Police Department spokeswoman did not respond Monday to the Problem Solver’s request for comment on the union’s statement.
The union’s jab at the department is the latest in a string of developments in the yearslong battle over the parking tickets, which has been chronicled in this column.
The case began in late 2007, when Geinosky received his first parking tickets for infractions he did not commit. Over the next 14 months, he accumulated 24 citations, all which he successfully fought in administrative court.
None of the tickets were attached to his car; all were sent to him in the mail. At least one of the tickets was issued after he sold his vehicle.
Convinced he was being harassed, Geinosky filed a complaint with the Independent Police Review Authority in September 2008. His complaint was forwarded to the police Internal Affairs Department, which promptly closed the case without investigation.
Geinosky emailed What’s Your Problem? in 2009. The Problem Solver wrote about his case on Feb. 24, 2009, prompting the Police Department to launch a fresh internal investigation.
The probe led McCarthy to file the internal charges against the four officers Sept. 26.
Roque, Hegewald and Whelehan are scheduled to appear before the Police Board on Dec. 9, at which time a hearing date for their cases likely will be set.
Because Sabatino is in Afghanistan, he has not been formally served a copy of the charges. Sources say he likely will not be served with the papers until he returns from overseas, meaning his hearing could be delayed until early summer.
Whether Whelehan will face the Police Board on the parking ticket charges remains unclear, because he has been fired for his role in an unrelated off-duty altercation. Police say that on Nov. 22, 2009, Whelehan placed a bag of dog excrement on a neighbor’s doorstep, then drew his gun and used a racial epithet in an ensuing altercation.
On Oct. 20, the Police Board found Whelehan guilty of violating six Police Department rules and terminated his employment.
If Whelehan appeals the ruling, Police Department officials could decide to forge ahead with a hearing on the parking ticket charges. If he does not appeal, the department could simply let the ticket allegations against him drop.
In an email to the Problem Solver this month, Whelehan denied any involvement in the false tickets case. He did not respond to a follow-up question inquiring about the 2009 incident.
An attorney representing Roque and Hegewald said those officers are innocent of the charges.
A fifth officer investigated in the case, Kenneth Wilkerson, resigned July 29, according to Police Board records. Wilkerson’s name and badge number appeared on 13 of the false tickets.
The Problem Solver was unable to reach Wilkerson for comment.
Copyright © 2011, Chicago Tribune
By KELLI KENNEDY 11/22/11 01:26 PM ET
MIAMI — Several possible victims have come forward alleging a woman posing as a Florida doctor and promising buttocks enhancement pumped their behinds with a toxic concoction of cement, superglue and flat-tire sealant, state health officials said Tuesday.
Oneal Ron Morris – who police say was born a man and identifies as a woman – was arrested Friday after nearly a year of being sought and charged with practicing medicine without a license with serious bodily injury. Authorities say a victim who was looking to get a job at a nightclub and wanted a curvier figure paid Morris $700 for the injections in 2010. Morris allegedly used some type of tubing and inserted the toxic chemicals into her backside during a painful procedure.
The victim, who is not being identified due to medical privacy laws, suffered permanent scarring around the injection sites. Shortly after the surgery, she went to the hospital, but left because she was too embarrassed to tell doctors about the procedure. The victim required multiple surgeries and had a 24-hour home health aide for an extended period of time, according to a statement from the Department of Health.
State health officials said Tuesday that several possible victims have since come forward alleging Morris performed similar procedures resulting in life-threatening injuries.
The 30-year-old Morris has since been released from jail on a bond. A phone listing for Morris could not be found, and it’s unclear if Morris has an attorney. Police say Morris performed the same surgery on herself.
Authorities said Morris may be part of an underground plastic surgery ring in South Florida. Health officials said additional arrests are possible, but did not elaborate because it’s an ongoing investigation.
Investigators spent nearly a year tracking Morris throughout South Florida and said she moved frequently.
State health officials are encouraging other potential victims to contact them.
The above is courtesy of the Huffington Post. And no, folks, I just couldn’t make this stuff up.
warning: this is totally weird-ass and just plain wrong and where to they find funding for this stuff?
A recent case-control study published in the peer-reviewed Journal of Sexual Medicine focused on men who lived in rural areas of Brazil.
As for the why sex with animals may increase the risk of penile cancer, researchers theorize that it may cause microtrauma to penile tissue, which could come in contact animal secretions that are potentially harmful to humans. The association between having sex with animals and penile cancer may also be indicative of lifestyle choices, since those who had sex with animals also had more sex with prostitutes, more sexual partners and more sexually transmitted diseases than those who didn’t.
Since the study participants grew up in rural areas, they had access to animals. The average age of first contact with an animal was 13.5, and the average age of last contact was 17.1. Since sex with animals stopped around the same time the men started having sex with humans, researchers said these episodes wouldn’t necessarily constitute full-on zoophilia. Zoophilia entails not just having sex with animals, but also being sexually attracted to them and developing fantasies and obsessive urges about them as well.
Most men in the study — 62% — had sex with several animals and 38% used the same animal. Frequency and length of time varied: 14% had sex one time, while 39.5% had it weekly or more and 15% had in monthly. For about 80% of the study subjects the episodes lasted anywhere from a year to 26 years, but the average time was about four years.
As for the kinds of animals the men had sex with, mares were the most common, followed by donkeys, mules, goats, chickens, calves, cows, dogs, sheep and pigs.